For a moment I was out of my orbit again

This might be the longest that I’ve ever gone without posting on the blog, and I’ve got a perfectly good reason. I’m sure you know what it’s like to have something happen yo you that completely whoops your spirit down on its ass; something so disheartening that you begin to question the point of all the things you have been doing when it all could be gone in just an instant.

Mine came in the form of five words in a computer prompt: Memory card cannot be read.

It’s one of those horrifying things that could ever happen to a photographer and a food blogger, especially someone like myself who takes step by step photos religiously. This will be one of two recipes I managed to rephotograph but will not have any procedure photos because after my nth try with a data recovery application (my laptop’s Trash can testify to that) it became clear that this might be a hopeless case. Although I am yet to consult a professional I am not holding out much hope.

Now that I’m pretty much recovered from the incident I am beginning to think that my reaction at the time was quite an exaggerated one. I felt like giving up blogging for goodness sake! Two weeks worth of kitchen slavery– gone in a snap! I was blaming myself for accidentally brushing against the card reader, which for some odd reason loosened itself from the USB port. Clumsy fool! After a bad night’s sleep I decided I would just photograph the recipes that still have leftovers. It’s much better than nothing. I’ll just have to repeat the other recipes some time in the future.

See the thing that guts me is the wasted effort– two Sundays worth of it. So many of my friends ask me how I manage to do all this despite a Monday to Saturday full-day work week and the truth is there’s no secret to it. I simply cook and bake like a maniac on Sundays, making at least four recipes a day. Honestly, it’s exhausting, but also it’s nice when I get a glorious finished product and a great set of photos to boot. It kind of makes up for the fact that I use up a good deal of my only rest day to keep “working”. Who the hell knows what motivates me. I just like it is all, even when I wake up at 6AM on a Sunday just so I can finish in time for some sort of afternoon appointment. That always seems enough of an explanation for me, though not the most logical I suppose.

Besides, this isn’t nearly as heartbreaking as “THAT TIME” during my senior year in college. It was when the company representative at the ad agency I interned in sabotaged the ad campaign for thesis defense. (Based on my observation it was immaturity on his part, with his desire to look superior since he came from our rival school. There are two universities in the Philippines that have a Harvard-Yale-like rivalry. Of course not everyone takes this rivalry personally but somehow this guy does. Instead of being our second thesis advisor as was his role, he pulled a trick to trap my thesis group and looked PROUD doing it. You should’ve seen his face!) I am reminded of that messed-up incident, but truthfully this doesn’t even come close to how I felt at that time.

There are some similarities with this circumstance and that, for instance, my desire to hurt someone after it happened– a knife in the neck of the company representative at that time, banging my head against the wall repeatedly this time. And then there was the desire to break down into tears– which I actually did outside as my thesis panel deliberated after cutting our defense short. Imagine having the heart and soul you poured into the thing get clawed to a million pieces. It hurts a lot. I didn’t actually cry when my memory card was corrupted, but I was pretty darn numb the whole night through and my techie brother had to take over. He couldn’t solve the problem and around half past one in the morning I snapped back to my senses and told my poor brother to call it a night. Both horror shows happened to things that was/is important to me, but I suppose the similarities stop there.

Like I said, this was nowhere near as bad as “THAT TIME” during my thesis, when I thought all my hard work in all my college years was going down the drain. When I thought my GPA, my transcript, and my future was actually at stake! But you know what? Shockingly it ended well. Even though the initial stab and turning of the knife was painful, we were given a chance to explain and revise our thesis. I managed to graduate Honourable Mention (though admittedly it could’ve been better) but I was more satisfied with the dagger looks cast by my thesis advisor and the professors toward the company rep. To make a long story short, if that worked out in the end, there’s no reason why such a little thing as this shouldn’t.

Who’d have thought I would find solace in one of the most nightmarish, bawled-my-eyes-out, I-want-to-kill-someone, I’d-rather-forget-it-ever-happened moments of my academic life? Guess there’s a point in looking to the worse times to make the bad times seem so inconsequential.

Now that I’ve taken a moment to see that this is one of those “shit happens, deal with it” situations, I feel much better. I feel okay. So I thought it was about time to break the quiet around here, and share one of my “lost” recipes from that darned corrupted CF card.

Avocado Lime Cheesecake. Kind of indulgent. Extra delicious. No baking required. All you need is a blender or food processor, and a freezer. If you don’t have those then I’m sorry but you will be missing out.
Get the recipe! >>